Meet the SickBitchCrip Bitches (Soon to be animated)
Sick – is an iconic wheelchair-bound living miracle and is the proud host of a multitude of debilitating diseases. She is still breathing and lives life to the full despite her many conflictions. She holds the world record for being the sickest cripple ever and she has no intentions of letting anyone in with a chance of snatching this prestigious title. Everyone adores her and she is a Sick celebrity lapping up all the sympathy and pity she can muster.
Bitch – has a disproportionate over inflated ego and fiery tits. She dreams of being crippled and is desperate to hunt down a surgeon who will snap her spinal cord to stop her legs from wriggling. In frenzied acts of self-destruction to make her dream come true she will do anything to lame herself, yet tragically all attempts of crippling herself to smithereens have failed. Every day is a struggle but she is determined that one day she will successfully disable herself and steal the limelight from Sick.
Crip - is a product of her own self-indulgence. Her greasy fatty fried festering look and sit still and do sweet fuck all attitude has rendered her into a piss guzzling, fast food obsessed junkie. Her assistant lap dog bitch named Gob, is determined to gobble all the crap that Crip shoves down her gullet. The other two bitches have their eyes on Crip in fear that one day she may consume them and become the ultimate Sick Bitch Crip. Crip is fantastic at playing the Crip card and has a natural gift for pulling at the heartstrings and making people weep.
SickBitchCrips are the greatest thing that the world could ever want. Introducing ‘Sick’ the cripple that everyone wants to be…
SickBitchCrips, growth in popularity is increasing every second – meet ‘Bitch’, you know you want to be her – everyone’s favourite and everyone’s secret little desire…
SickBitchCrips elevating high above their contemporaries, introducing ‘Crip’ the epitome of success and envy of many…
Sponsorship deals are currently in negotiation with McDonald’s, Marlboro lights, Heinz baked beans, Tesco’s Value Lager, the Daily Mail and the Queen.
Posted by Katherine Araniello, 25 July 2013
Last modified by Colin Hambrook, 8 October 2013