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Jane McCormick - disability arts online
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Disability Arts Online

The bitch is back / 17 May 2014

As a child I was afraid of the dark. The bedroom I shared with my sister was awash with monsters and murderers  of all description. They mainly resided under the bed but there were also quite a few squeezed into the roomy corner wardrobe as well as behind the curtains.

The presence of my sister helped not a wit. We each managed our night terrors alone. She kept fear and insomnia at bay by sneaking the dog into her bed while I slept with my head under the covers barely able to breath.

I was working on the theory that if I couldn't see the monsters they couldn't see me. This strategy seemed to work well as I was neither murdered or savaged by monsters in all the years I lived in the family home.  I am not sure where the monsters went when I grew up.... all I know is they were gone for a very long time and then, without as much as a by your leave, they came back.

The monsters of adulthood don't  hide under the bed or in wardrobes or even confine themselves to the hours of darkness like normal monsters.... their stomping ground is the early morning hours around dawn.  These bitches don't hide, they descend and loom, terrorising from within. I do so wish I could put them back under the bed where they belong.