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Wendy Young - disability arts online
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Disability Arts Online

Back to School / 12 June 2015

Back to School

The bullies never stop
But this time
I won't let it drop
I must fight

Disparaging bile
'You're the problem!'
Spread by those who seem servile
When it’s your face that doesn't belong

Purging my wrath at Survivors
Looking good and acting strong
Performed primal screams, satisfying
But vulnerability's not gone

I shone for a while but  tears never stop
'Because I've been wrongly accused’
I guess it’s the trait of all Jane Eyres
‘You think too much of the love of humans beings’

And after the shock of the verbal
My body went into meltdown
My whole body froze, and still does
Like when I was young and abused

Positivity gone to pot
Stirring rot set in long ago
It’s all still in there, ready to serve
My crime defending a colleague

Not brave enough to stand up alone
So muggings here did it for them
Now there is gang warfare
Plaguing, my being, my system

Playground bullies are still fruitful
I show strength but inside I cry
They come in all shapes and sizes
They’re long and they’re short, this one’s small

But could easily be a 10 footer
Screaming HATE into my face
Could pass as a dolly lash flutterer
Yet I'm the one who’s disgraced
In the gutter but at least I can look up at stars

These low lives stick together
Pour forth their stories, I store,
But I don’t think my mind can take it
I am going to open my mouth

Not keeping my pain to myself
This time I’m getting in first

The bullies never stop
But this time
I won't let it drop
Insecurity’s burst

Lava heart spilling over
Bottled up anger and rage
With passion and words
Not violence
This time
I’m not on the fence.