Trying to get in X-Mass spirit! This poem was penned because a few years ago Radio 4 were after poems and that all entries would be read by John Hegley. However it would be an unearthly hour in the a.m. and I thought, well, I'll never hear it anyway.
But the demon sleeplessness abounded and this time it was fortunate although having my ear stuck to the radio trying not disturb anyone, intent my listening mission. Nowt! I go an write a poem about what I hate and nowt comes of it. At least I got an okay poem but please be aware - it is a poem of 'hope', not my attitooood! I seem to remember at the time drawing a picture with Santa's gun in my back in the supermarket!
X Marks the Spot
Is it the X-Factor? (Can I be an attractor?)
Is it X-treme sports? (Can I race you in me tractor?)
Is it X-Mal Deutschland reforming? (Vell zay may if you give zem a contract!) Or
Is it XMAS, that eXcellent time of year
when people eXchange gifts and rifts are lifted
for a time
spirits are, like snow, shifted
Drifters may find a stable,
able to join in the cheer
Tears shed, for absent friends
Copious cards are penned
to those far and near
Carol singers fa-la-la-ling
then rat-tat-tatting, welcomed in
Mulled wine drinking mince pie munching
Off they're trudging in the night
To the wind three sheets they are
Bearing song sheets traverse afar
Drunks on an outing
Well wishers shouting
Following yonder jar
HO - HO!
Santa's on his way tonight
With CDs DVDs
Fill my stocking, it's too light!!
And the TV it’s all shite!
I thought I was watching playtime at the local primary school on the tele last night. See if you can guess what super freak programme it was!!
Please Please Please
I’m the egoist
I’m the IDest
I’m the greatest
I can throw my toys further
I can stab you in the back
I can lick your arse
I can create a farce
I can beg and plead
So that you
NEED NEED NEED ME