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Disability Arts Online

Reality check? / 8 January 2012

When my computer died I consoled myself with the hope that my work could be recovered from the old hard drive. My current project exists there, as well as all my previous writing and graphic workings. Over Christmas I discovered that this was not the relatively simple task I had imagined. The old hard drive is split over two discs and recovery depends on being able to access both simultaneously.

The distress I have been holding at bay threatened to overwhelm the Christmas spirit, but somehow hope still prevails. Working on 'Con.text' has been a wonderful distraction, and in a sense, a new start which I hope will inspire future projects and fresh ways of working with my new technologies.

Of course I'm cross with myself for neglecting to back up files on a regular basis and how ironic is it to feel that some of my best work was created while struggling with so little computer memory that even saving while I worked was problematic.

Is it time to face up to the prospect of losing the lot? And where do I go from here?

Didn't you always want straight hair?
Brown-gold skin; grey-green eyes?

The stuff you didn't have?

I always wanted roots;
anchors and solid foundations.
My practice echoes this.
I work well with volumes
of background stuff to refer to.

Yet I live my life, mime
the dance, without knowing
who I am; only how I feel.

Keywords: poetry,practice,work