The Hayward Rat (Rattus Flattus) has proved positively inspirational.
There is work queuing up to be let out of my head and there are days when this queue and clamour paralyse my choosing process.
The Hayward Rat has brought Kouros and the body project right up to the front of the queue. The body project aims to resurrect Jessie from 'Bare Boards and Blue Stilettos'.
At the time, she made dramatic impact, but I felt she needed to be a little more explicit. I was asking people to use their imaginations, but not giving them enough to work with and Jessie presented as scary, but also maybe a bit of a full stop.
Ever since '(it might be disability but) it's Still Life' presented at Holton Lee, Jessie has been nagging me. She wanted to join Kouros (the life-size soft sculpture of a nude male); he does have a female companion, and we were thinking they needed a lot more company; a group of them would provide more ammunition for imaginations to run.
So here in the sunshine, I've been working on Jessie's muslin skin and polyester muscles and the new man (who is actually just an up to date version of the old man).
Jessie is named for jesses
those seeking tendrils that
float in the jet stream of no
longer quite-wild birds of prey.
Symbols of symbiosis
like roots drawing Jessie down
to other connections, links
that thread through Jessie's heart.
Jesses, merely symbols or
darker, deeper holds on
When my computer died I consoled myself with the hope that my work could be recovered from the old hard drive. My current project exists there, as well as all my previous writing and graphic workings. Over Christmas I discovered that this was not the relatively simple task I had imagined. The old hard drive is split over two discs and recovery depends on being able to access both simultaneously.
The distress I have been holding at bay threatened to overwhelm the Christmas spirit, but somehow hope still prevails. Working on 'Con.text' has been a wonderful distraction, and in a sense, a new start which I hope will inspire future projects and fresh ways of working with my new technologies.
Of course I'm cross with myself for neglecting to back up files on a regular basis and how ironic is it to feel that some of my best work was created while struggling with so little computer memory that even saving while I worked was problematic.
Is it time to face up to the prospect of losing the lot? And where do I go from here?
Didn't you always want straight hair?
Brown-gold skin; grey-green eyes?
The stuff you didn't have?
I always wanted roots;
anchors and solid foundations.
My practice echoes this.
I work well with volumes
of background stuff to refer to.
Yet I live my life, mime
the dance, without knowing
who I am; only how I feel.