How does it make you feel?
The wheelless man with the microphone nods to his cameraman and leans towards me. I hesitate.
The freedom... he prompts. And I eventually respond.
What I really want to do is commandeer the microphone and turn the tables. You see I already know about the freedom. Being wheelborne is my freedom.
'Creating the Spectacle,' is not to be confined to inspiring the wheelborne, it is very much aimed at changing the attitudes of the wheelless.
It is not about turning the spotlight on 'the brave and inspirational disabled', although having such a splendid role model does me no harm at all.
You are missing the point, I want to shout, the point is how does it make you feel?
And if your gut reaction is to descend on the wheelless because you do not see yourself or other wheelless as 'concerned parties' then you really are missing the point.
And if you do not allow yourself to change, to respond enlightened, then you are denying a great deal of what 'Creating the 'Spectacle!' is about. You are throwing away all that fantastic inspiration, dismissing all that courage and bravery, wasting all that effort and determination.
I am infuriated when you praise me for doing the easy and trivial things on my wheelborne adventure; but your failure to engage with real courage, stunning determination and this brilliantly creative artwork is more than insulting.
And the freedom? 'Creating the Spectacle!' doesn't just allow me to dream, it allows you to dream with me; to open the cage of your imagination and set me free.
oh! I arrive my wheels, I arrive.
I come with the heartbeat, bringing life.
Bringing life, you come with the motion.
We have the energy for laughter.
I arrive my wheels, I arrive
with a slow humiliation.
The elegance I crave, a figment
of my hot imagination
until I rest in your embrace.
until we are one. and we glide.
oh! I arrive my wheels, I arrive
and we are reborn in the morning.
I ease from the upright agony of fire
into your enveloping embrace.
I arrive my wheels, I arrive
with a keen anticipation
to be rescued from the primitive
to our shared configuration.
oh my wheels, I am handicapped
until we are one. And we glide.
The next pool performance is on Friday, on Portland. www.wearefreewheeling.org.uk/freewheeling-performances
As the nation gets back on it's wheels after being knocked down in reverence and awe over those brave and inspirational wheelless and nondisabled heroes, a plan to preserve and protect the MonoLympic legacy is being rolled out. Lynda, the charismatic face of MonoLympic has informed the world, that the flame of Cultural Access Diversity will not be allowed to dim.
Lynda has also issued a statement explaining how it has been possible to award Platinum, best in show, when clearly the MonoLympic is still warming up.
A programme of cut-backs, die-backs, and terminal wilt in the roll-up to CAD, resulted in a series of cost saving initiatives that included implementing some forgone conclusions.
It is expected that, given the amazing success of the MonoLympic, many of these conclusions will be reinterpreted; using advanced techniques of modern think-logic-think, it may be possible to reallocate funding previously diverted to less inspirational diversionary tactics.
The allocation of metallic lumps, symbolic of the competitive phase of CAD, has already been replaced by a rigorous entry procedure which will eliminate unsuccessful candidates before they can be a drain on the public purse; this naturally renders all future awards ceremonies obsolete.
Sit tight, friends, the
rest of the show
is on it's way.
a cup of tea,
while we roll up
those brave, but
get this show
on the road.
It has been pointed out to me that my terminology might possibly be interpreted as offensive, and I have been given this opportunity to apologise.
My superior, a person with six wheels as apposed to my four, has explained that the use of the terms: 'lacking wheels' and 'wheelless' does have less constructive implications.
I must make it plain that I use the term 'wheelless' in a purely descriptive way and similarly the phrase 'lacking wheels' is purely a factual observation.
The negative or derogatory values associated with the words 'less' and 'lacking' should not be assumed to be present in these descriptive clarifications of a person or persons' mobility specification.
I have no wish to offend anyone, indeed some of my best friends manage exceedingly well without wheels and will happily testify that I am in no way mobility prejudiced; confidentially, I'm chair of a charity devoted to improving the self esteem of wheelless people; so before you complain, take a moment to observe those legs that are your unenhanced substitute for wheels.
Take them out for a run, kick a ball with one of them, wriggle your way through a rumba; does that feel offensive? I hope not, I hope you can be proud of your wheelless state and admit honestly and with pride that you do indeed lack wheels.