As the nation gets back on it's wheels after being knocked down in reverence and awe over those brave and inspirational wheelless and nondisabled heroes, a plan to preserve and protect the MonoLympic legacy is being rolled out. Lynda, the charismatic face of MonoLympic has informed the world, that the flame of Cultural Access Diversity will not be allowed to dim.
Lynda has also issued a statement explaining how it has been possible to award Platinum, best in show, when clearly the MonoLympic is still warming up.
A programme of cut-backs, die-backs, and terminal wilt in the roll-up to CAD, resulted in a series of cost saving initiatives that included implementing some forgone conclusions.
It is expected that, given the amazing success of the MonoLympic, many of these conclusions will be reinterpreted; using advanced techniques of modern think-logic-think, it may be possible to reallocate funding previously diverted to less inspirational diversionary tactics.
The allocation of metallic lumps, symbolic of the competitive phase of CAD, has already been replaced by a rigorous entry procedure which will eliminate unsuccessful candidates before they can be a drain on the public purse; this naturally renders all future awards ceremonies obsolete.
Sit tight, friends, the
rest of the show
is on it's way.
a cup of tea,
while we roll up
those brave, but
get this show
on the road.
It has been pointed out to me that my terminology might possibly be interpreted as offensive, and I have been given this opportunity to apologise.
My superior, a person with six wheels as apposed to my four, has explained that the use of the terms: 'lacking wheels' and 'wheelless' does have less constructive implications.
I must make it plain that I use the term 'wheelless' in a purely descriptive way and similarly the phrase 'lacking wheels' is purely a factual observation.
The negative or derogatory values associated with the words 'less' and 'lacking' should not be assumed to be present in these descriptive clarifications of a person or persons' mobility specification.
I have no wish to offend anyone, indeed some of my best friends manage exceedingly well without wheels and will happily testify that I am in no way mobility prejudiced; confidentially, I'm chair of a charity devoted to improving the self esteem of wheelless people; so before you complain, take a moment to observe those legs that are your unenhanced substitute for wheels.
Take them out for a run, kick a ball with one of them, wriggle your way through a rumba; does that feel offensive? I hope not, I hope you can be proud of your wheelless state and admit honestly and with pride that you do indeed lack wheels.